I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I need a beard to bite.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
