you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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