small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
