I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
