I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
