i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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