yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Drunk is not a location!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
