I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
