She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
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Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
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I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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