so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
