Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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