ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
