Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so let's talk penis.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
