Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
that may or may not have been my penis.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
