five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
