Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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