So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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