is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
