So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
