there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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