I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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