Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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