Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
