uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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