Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
