He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
