she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
