Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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