No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
