just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
