the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
