You don't have asthma, your pregnant
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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