i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We have started to decorate penises.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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