i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I will be naked everywhere
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I want to fling myself into the sun
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
