My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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