Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
