just come out here and I will go home with you...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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