I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
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You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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