At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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