Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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