Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
