she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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