So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
