you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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