Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
