dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Pants are for mortals
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