Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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