I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
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just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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