It's Friday. Sex?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
