Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
