that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
