come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
we should paint friendship bongs
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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