BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
