I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
