you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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