Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
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Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
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Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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