omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
