I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
