Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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